THE FINAL BLOG !

The only meaningful adulthood experience I can think of is how I have grown up alone. Yeah, I have siblings but they are way older than I am. My mom decided to have a huge gap between us. It came to a point where sometimes I would ask my mom why she had me sooo late! Like what was she thinking? I often times wished I had a twin that I could have of grew up with. I was the youngest of what used to be four. But as far as now I’m the youngest of three. I had an older sister that passed away when I was four years of age so that left me even lonelier. I also have two older brothers that have lives of their own. We aren’t that close and I think that if we have gotten the chance to grow up together we would be inseparable. When I was younger, all the kids at school thought I was the only child because I would never talk about my brothers. There were days where I would like being the only child at home simply because I was getting all the attention, but that’s when I was younger. Being nineteen almost twenty is a totally different story.

 My mother and I are incredibly close, but at the same time we’re very different. The mother daughter relationships can be intense sometimes, but it is worse when you’re the only child still living at home. I think that it would be a better situation if I had brothers and sisters around my age that were still living at home with me. They would be the only ones who would know and understand the details of my life apart from my parents. I have always felt older than my age and grew up more quickly than my peers because I was in adults company all of the time. As a result of that, all of my friends are older than I am, I feel like I can relate to them better than I would someone my own age.

Now I have gotten to that age where I’m leaving home and what’s sad is that my parents are miserable about it. They are always caution about me going places by myself and my response would be “if only I had siblings around my age”. That is another reason why I wished I had siblings that were close to my age to take all of the focus and attention off of me sometimes, because if there were other children around, my departure wouldn’t be such a big deal. I have a massive amount of love for my parents and I feel bad that I’m going to hurt them one day when I’m ready to move out and establish by own place. Then, they’ll realize I will no longer be their babygirl. Still to this day I wished I had the chance to experienced growing up with someone other than myself. Someone that would get on my nerves, someone that I would have fights with then start talking to them like nothing ever happened.  By experiencing not actually growing up with siblings as a child, when I become a mother I will not leave an enormous gap between my children, so that they will have the opportunity to grow up and establish memories together.